Cordially divided: the joy of prenups as planning tools

Prelude

At the center of the opera that gave us one of the most popular pieces of wedding music in the Western world sits something unexpected: a prenuptial agreement.

In the second act of Wagner’s Lohengrin, you’ll hear the familiar strains of the Bridal Chorus – modern wedding guests’ cue to stand. The opera tells the tale of a mythic knight who proposes to serve as champion and husband to heroine Elsa, on the condition that she never ask his name or origin.

By reputation, prenups are fundamentally unromantic. Yet here one is at the heart of a Romantic classic with a musical motif that has ushered hundreds of thousands of brides down aisles.

While mere mortals are more concerned with protecting children, businesses, real estate and significant assets than a celestial secret like Lohengrin (spoiler alert: the knight’s name), his story offers us another way to look at prenups. Instead of sowing discomfort and distrust, they can be a demonstration of deep commitment to building a shared future – a long one.

Processional

“Nobody goes into a marriage expecting it to fail, but many people do get married without having had the more serious conversations,” says attorney Liz Ochoa, vice president of private wealth strategy, who consults with Raymond James advisors and their clients. “This is an opportunity to sit down with the person you care about most and set boundaries and make rules while you still agree on things.”

For many, Liz adds, prenups represent the first steps in a much larger planning process: estate and legacy.

“People have prenups before they have wills or trusts. I think it’s wise to view them as proto-estate planning – especially since all of these documents will ultimately have to play nicely together.”

While the specter of divorce, with rates at 40% for first marriages and 60% for second, has given younger generations a more cynical view of the institution, it has also given way to a kind of sentimental practicality. Many of today’s betrothed are treating marriage like any other long-term investment – and planning accordingly.

According to a 2023 Axios-Harris poll, 41% of Gen Z and 34% of Millennials reported signing prenups, and the space has been digitally democratized with apps boasting AI-tools, easy access to experts and flat fees.

It is worth noting, however, that some of this generational momentum could also be owed to Boomer and Gen X parents.

“We are seeing an uptick in prenuptial agreements as a condition of inheritance,” Liz shared. “Trusts structured so designees forfeit all or some of their benefits unless they have prenups.”

But even in this, the road leads back to long-term planning.

Exchanging of vows

Beyond the “who gets what,” prenups can set the terms for inheritance, designate life insurance and retirement beneficiaries, determine business interests, outline current and future child custody arrangements and more – which demands they be overseen objectively.

Many legal advisors, Liz included, caution against a shared approach to the planning process, encouraging couples to use separate legal counsel both in the creation of the agreement and in its execution, should it come to that. A prenup can