Introducing Money to Your Kids
Of course I bought my two-year-old the Target Dollar Spot play money; I’m a financial consultant. Having a mom in finance doesn’t give my boys much of an option when it comes to learning about how to properly handle their money. I have met far too many adults who clearly were never taught about money while growing up and I won’t allow my children to be added to that list. Whether it be because their parents had plenty of money and therefore, they never really learned the value, or maybe their parents were poor examples, making less than ideal financial decisions themselves. I think one of the most valuable things we can teach our children is to be good stewards of their money and it is never too early to start. Let’s build our kids up to be part of the solution, not part of the $13.9 trillion household debt problem (CEICdata). Now, I am only one parent; my boys are little and my ideas are certainly not gospel, but today I’m going to share some of the unique ways Jacob and I teach our young children about money. I’ll preface this all by saying, if you subscribe to Disney +, take a break from watching all your favorite old shows and watch Forky Asks A Question: What Is Money? Very educational!
- Lead by Example. The best way to teach your children good money habits is to practice good money habits yourself. Our children are watching everything we do (trust me, nothing makes you realize all your “shortcomings” quite like watching your parrot of a child). We talk with Roman regularly about why mom and dad go to work, what we do while we are there, and what he would like to do someday when he grows up. Currently he wants to be a cement sprayer. I’m not sure if ‘bring your child to work day’ is still a thing, but it definitely should be! Allowing our kids to see what we do everyday to make a living is so valuable. Roman and Bennett have been coming with me to my office since they were just babies. As a three-year-old, we can’t include Roman in every money conversation that we have, but we try to explain as much as we can when we do things like grocery shop and eat out. We talk about our budget and what we can and cannot spend. We want our children to see us in control of our money, not the other way around. Sometimes the best example of that is seeing us say ‘no’ to things that we want.
- Don’t Be Extreme. My husband is a saver. He just hates spending money on ANYTHING (see also: my blog post about budgeting). I, on the other hand, am a spender. It doesn’t mean I make poor financial decisions; I just naturally don’t hold money as tightly as some people do. As you can imagine, that led to some fun conversations after we got married. We both had to give a little and meet somewhere in the middle. It was a good lesson for both of us in avoiding extremes. Let’s not spend as if we are going to die on Friday, but let’s also teach our children to enjoy the fruits of their labor. This is a difficult balance for anyone, especially a child. Roman has been talking about buying a set of golf clubs for almost a year now, but every time he receives money, whether it be for a birthday or for a chore he helped with, he immediately talks about what he wants to buy with it and the expensive golf clubs are too far out of reach for the $20 burning a hole in his pocket. We remind him of the golf clubs and then let him make his decision. About 50% of the time the money gets put away for golf clubs and the other 50% gets spent on things like Ironman masks. THAT’S OKAY! It’s important to teach our children that it is okay to enjoy what they have worked hard for, but it’s equally important that we open their eyes to what it means to save. My three-year-old is not saving for retirement right now, but teaching him to save for something like his first set of golf clubs is a tangible way of teaching delaying gratification and saving. I’ll save the retirement talk until he’s ten. Don’t force your children to save every single dime, it will only create resentment.
- Be a Joyful Giver. There is so much to be said about teaching our children the value of a dollar and the importance of saving, but right up there with those is showing our children how to be generous givers. With Christmas just around the corner, this is one of the best times to involve your kids in giving. We love Toys for Tots; it is one of our favorite charities around the holidays. We take the boys to the store and let them (Roman) spend a set amount of money on toys to donate. He inevitably picks out all the toys he wants and it’s a little difficult when we have to remind him that those toys aren’t for him, but he beams with pride when he remembers that they are for kids who don’t have toys. As a parent, there is nothing better than that. Another great way to teach generosity is to go through their toys with them and donate the ones they no longer play with. They are likely getting more for Christmas anyways and this helps to clear a place for the new. It’s usually met with resistance at first, but once we explain who we are giving his toys to he gets so excited and we end up having to sneak a few of his favorite toys back out of the bags. We want our kids to find joy in giving and live with open hands.
- Find Contentment. We are raising children in a consumer’s society. More more more is the name of the game and if you can’t afford more, there’s a credit card company ready and waiting to help you afford it. In a world that is constantly bombarding us with new products and new experiences, contentment is a four-letter word. It’s our job to teach our children how much is enough and often times that means learning it ourselves. As a mom, this is so hard for me! I want my kids to have everything I did and didn’t have. I didn’t really see anything wrong with how much I was buying the boys. Until the Target Toy catalog came out this year. *And all the parents of young children rolled their eyes.* It was fun the first time we went through it and got to watch Roman’s eyes light up looking at all the toys. But after the 57th “I want that” I threw it in the garbage. I mean it “got lost!” Teaching Roman contentment at this age means sitting on the floor and reminding him how fun his cars are by racing them across the dining room with him. It means folding our hands and giving thanks for the meal we have before us even if it’s grilled cheese and tomato soup instead of steak (yeah, my toddler thinks he’s a high roller). Contentment and gratitude are subtle when they are little. I’ll report back when my boys are teenagers and think they’re getting a car for Christmas (ha!).
No parent does it all right, and I am certainly no exception. I have three years of experience under my belt, and let’s be honest, that’s not a lot. But in those short three years, I have seen the outcomes of the lessons we do and don’t teach our kids. I’ve unfortunately witnessed plenty of the “I wants” as a result of my overbuying for my boys. But I also have a video on my phone of Roman (unprompted) telling me he was going to give his birthday money to people who don’t have any money. Cue all the tears. If I’ve learned one thing about parenting it’s that we are going to do plenty of things wrong, but if I’m going to get one thing right it should probably be in the area in which I claim to be an expert. We’ll disregard the fact that Roman currently measures money in pounds…? Nope, we are not British.
Opinions expressed are those of Molly VanBinsbergen and are not necessarily those of Raymond James. All opinions are as of this 11/14/19 and are subject change without notice.
