Women & Wealth Part 4: Widowhood
When we kicked off our Women & Wealth series last year, we explored the staggering numbers concerning women and finance. We know that 80% of women will be single at the time of their death and the average age a woman becomes a widow is 59 (Protective Life). While this is a topic no one ever wants to talk about, we know how important it is for women to be prepared to make financial decisions as they will likely be making them at some point in their lives. Last year, I had the pleasure of attending a seminar hosted by Protective Life focused on one topic specifically, widowhood. Whether you have walked through widowhood, are currently dealing with the heartache of becoming a new widow, or knowing the statistics just has you wanting to be prepared, today’s blog post is for you. We are going to explore Protective Life’s important stages of widowhood and talk about a few tips for preparing and coping.
The Four Stages of Widowhood
- Preparing: a time of bracing for what is about to happen. Some women never get this opportunity due to a sudden and unexpected loss. Other times, due to a terminal diagnosis or a natural aging of a spouse, they have the time to prepare emotionally and physically for their loss. While nothing can truly prepare you for the emotional side of losing a spouse, there are steps that can be taken to prepare financially and physically.
- Be sure your financial advisor and other financial institutions (banks, credit unions, etc.) have your trust documents, beneficiaries and powers of attorney on file. This will help to smooth the transition of assets if necessary.
- Know your options for healthcare and hospice. The VA, Medicare, Medicaid and private insurances all cover different healthcare options and it is important to know what you and your spouse have available to you.
- Grief: a time, after loss, of pain, suffering and collection. Everyone handles grief differently and there are books, seminars, and counseling sessions on all the different stages of grief. This stage is personal and painful and different for everyone. While each widow will walk through this stage in her own time and way, there are a few tips that we give to our newly widowed clients to help in this time.
- Only do what MUST be done immediately. This is not a time to solve the world’s problems or make life altering decisions. Break tasks down into three categories: Now (essentials), Soon (important) and Later (postpone). The home I now live in was built by a woman who was widowed and immediately made the decision to move across the country. Within a year she longed to be back home close to family and friends.
- Lean heavy on the people you trust to walk with you through this time. This may be siblings, children, financial advisors, spiritual leaders or dear friends. Identify the people you can trust to help you make decisions that must be made. Although it often times feels like it, life hasn’t stopped and there are still things that must be done. Bills need to be paid, employers and life insurance companies need to be notified, future plans may need to be cancelled. These are areas where trusted loved ones can step in and help you fill the gap.
- Growth: a time of designing a new life. The growth stage will often times still carry a lot of grief and pain, but it is a time of reimagining the future. It often times means saying goodbye to dreams and plans we shared with our spouse, but it can also be an opportunity to honor some of our spouses dreams through trips they wanted to take, home projects they wanted to complete and adventures they always wanted to have. This growth stage is an important time to sit down with your financial professional, if you haven’t already, and begin to get a good grasp on what your financial future will look like.
- Transformation: a time of experiencing new life. While times of grief and sadness still exist, transformation is the stage for living. The new life you designed to both honor your spouse’s dreams and enjoy your days is now coming to fruition. There is a clear path forward and a new normal is emerging.
- Depending on the age of widowhood, this may be a time for new and advanced estate planning and family planning. If your family is grown and you and your spouse are further along in years, it’s possible all end of life and estate planning has already been taken care of.
- This is still a time of remembrance. How quickly each person walks through the 4 stages is different for everyone; for some it is months and others it is years. Carrying your spouse’s legacy with you through stories, dreams and new adventures is so important and does not end after we’ve walked through every stage.
Losing a spouse carries a pain that can only be understood by those who have walked it. It is important to identify which stage you are in and fully embrace the time it takes to walk through each stage. Lean heavy on the people you love and trust to walk with you through each stage and remember that joy and life will emerge on the other side of grief and chaos.
Any opinions are those of Molly VanBinsbergen and not necessarily those of RJFS or Raymond James. The information contained in this report does not purport to be a complete description of the securities, markets, or developments referred to in this material. The information has been obtained from sources considered to be reliable, but Raymond James does not guarantee that the forgoing material is accurate or complete. Any information is not a complete summary or statement of all available data necessary for making investment decisions and does not constitute a recommendation.
Raymond James is not affiliated with Protective Life.
