October 2021

This post might not apply to everyone reading it. In fact, I hope it doesn’t apply to you at all, but you might have a friend, a sister, an aunt or a daughter that it resonates with. The truth is, I’ve been divorced. It’s not something that I’m proud of, and it’s not something that was easy, but it happened and I know there are others that have experienced or are experiencing similar circumstances.

Divorce, which was once very taboo, is becoming more common and is especially happening more and more in couples over the age of 50. It is a phenomenon known as ‘grey divorce’. Part of these occurrences have been attributed to the fact that many women are now working outside the home and don’t feel as dependent on their spouse’s income to survive. For others, I believe it is the realization that they too deserve happiness. Often times, however, it seems that there is one spouse who is very in tune with the finances, and the other spouse who isn’t. I think this is true in almost every household, regardless of marital status or compatibility levels. When divorce happens, one spouse might find themselves in a vulnerable position without knowing or understanding what a fair and equitable division of marital property is.

That’s where I come in. In addition to all the typical financial and retirement planning that our team does with you, I am also a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® professional. What that means is that when a couple is going through a divorce, I help analyze the marital assets and finances. This can include everything from investments and retirement plans, to properties, pensions and stock options. I evaluate what there is and offer scenarios to divide marital property. I typically work closely with just one of the spouses and their attorney to help build and support the case, but I have worked with couples as well.

When you are going through a divorce, emotions run high. You are mourning the loss of a relationship and life you thought you had. You are trying to see your future life, but you can’t really see past the end of the day. On top of that, you are expected to understand your entire financial picture and know what will be best for you now and in the future. Your mind just cannot process all these thing effectively and the work I do is aimed to put the financials in perspective and help create a clear picture of what your options are.

You see me on the other side of my divorce, where my life path has progressed into a new, happy and strong marriage. When I went through my divorce, I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. My attorney gave me good advice, but when it came to my financial situation, she didn’t advise me at all. On my suggestion, so that I wouldn’t have to split my savings with my ex-spouse, I assumed all of our debt, plus a mortgage. Knowing what I know now, there were better and more equitable options, but I just wanted so desperately to move past the pain that I did what I thought would just end it. I don’t want anyone to have to go through what I did; not knowing the best option and possibly making a financial mistake. Luckily, I recovered, but not everyone does.

Like I said at the start, I hope this doesn’t apply to you. Divorce hurts. The good news is, help is available so you don’t have to figure it all out alone. If you know someone who is going through a divorce, there is no cost or obligation for a phone call with them to see if I can help.